Parshas Mishpotim
By: Rabbi Price
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this Shiur Parshas Mishpotim
The Torah tells us that a bribe will distort the judgment of the Judges. [Shmos 23:8]
When one first sees this he figures it doesn’t apply to him because he is not a Judge. But the Ballei Mussar tell us an important lesson, “Kol Odom Dayan Al Atzmo-Every Person is a Judge on Himself.”
Every time we make a decision about what we should do in life, such as what kind of job to take, wife to marry, where to live…, we are making a judgment call and we may be very much bribed and biased.
Rav Zelig Pliskin in “Growth Through Torah,” brings from Rav Avraham of Sochotchov that there is a major difference between one who is physically blind and a person who is prejudiced because of some bias. When a person is blind he realizes it and will ask someone who can see to help him. But if a person has a bias, the bias blinds him to such an extent that he does not even realize that he is blind. He feels that what he perceives is reality and will refuse to listen to others.
There are many types of bribes that distort our judgment. We are not talking about an out and out bribe. Any bias will cause us to view things in a way that will fit our particular bias. This is especially true when someone tries to point out our mistakes and faults. We all want to feel that we are correct. Awareness of our own blindness is the first step to overcoming it. When someone tells you something that goes against your bias, weigh the matter very carefully. Remember that bias blinds. Just because you do not immediately recognize a fault does not mean that you don’t have it. If necessary, consult a few other people.
I always compare our brains to computers. A computer gives output based on its input. The problem is that its output is totally dependent on its input so much so, that if it is missing data or programmed with incorrect data it can only give out a wrong output. As they say in computer language, "G. I. G.O" - Garbage In, Garbage Out. We also go around constantly producing output based on our input. Our advantage is that we are self-programming. We choose what data to "save" and what to "delete". Consequently, our output decisions should constantly be upgraded as we improve our input. We should also be aware of where to get this input such as shiurim that teach us the Torah way of viewing things.
I want to underscore this point with a story of Mahatma Ghandi the Prime Minister of India.
When Mahatma Ghandi, Prime Minister of India, was asked how he always would say one thing today and change his mind tomorrow he replied, "I have learned new things since then, and realized that what I said yesterday was based on false concepts, but now I know better. "
(If the Prime Minister of India was not ashamed to admit this in public, than how much more so should we admit this to ourselves. We are constantly making decisions based on what we knew "yesterday". That knowledge often contains numerous false concepts, and lacks many true Torah concepts. We must constantly "upgrade" our decisions as we get smarter in Torah . Of course it helps to have a Rebbi to help us in that area.)
To illustrate how our distorted input affects our decisions, I usually ask two questions.
First I ask what criteria went into a bochur's decision as to which yeshiva to go to in Eretz Yisroel?
Usually I get an answer that it was dependent on various factors. How the food and dorm is, where his friends are going, the proximity to Yerushalaim, especially Ben Yehuda, and I guess the Rabbeim and the curriculum also count.
I then ask what criteria would go into your decision if chas v'shalom you had to get an operation in a hospital and your insurance allows any hospital. How would you decide which hospital to choose? For this question I get a totally different answer.
Suddenly, the food, beds, and even the nurses are irrelevant. The only factor is which hospital has the best medical staff. Why is this different then which Yeshivah to go to?
The answer is quite simple. In the case of the hospital, the person's computer-brain has data that says that you're not going for a vacation or to party. This is a serious step in your life. You're going to have an operation which could affect you for the rest of your life. Consequently, food, bed and even nurses are trivial. What good will they do, if the medical staff is not as good as other hospitals?!
Yet, by the yeshiva, our data is a little mixed up. It should register just like the operation. You're going to a yeshiva which is a serious step in your life. It could affect you for the rest of your life. Who to marry, where to live, what to do, how to bring up your children…
I remember a certain fellow in the Yeshivah many years ago who told me an interesting story. He said that before he came to Neveh, his Rebbi asked him what he was going to do this year. He answered that he was going to
His Rebbi told him, “I don’t think you realize what an important step you are about to take with your life, so I want to explain it to you. You are standing at the crossroads of life- a fork in the road that leads to two opposite directions. One leads to the secular way of living life and the other the Torah way. This year in
If we would realize this when we are making the decision then we would realize that consequently, food and dorm are trivial. What good will they do if the Rebbeim and curriculum won’t knock some sense into our heads and teach us our real goal in life and how to enjoy it better? Instead, it registers that we're going to party or have a vacation. Consequently, we can make a totally erroneous decision which will have a bad effect on the rest of our lives.
I will end off this discussion with a true story that happened to me. When I was first engaged, about 32 years ago a friend of mine, who represented a famous band, approached me. Since one of the duties of the groom is to hire the band, he asked me to hire his band as they would make my wedding real "lebedik-lively". In reality I was very much into Jewish music and I liked his band and would have hired him on the spot. However, I told him that my future father-in-law had a nephew that had a small time band and that he wanted me to hire his nephew. I then received a lecture in realizing that YOU are paying for the band so You should decide who it will be. You shouldn't let your father-in-law tell you what to do. I knew I had a bias for my friend's band, that they would probably make my wedding more lebedik, and therefore could not make an objective decision. I was smart enough to tell him that I would get back to him.
I called my Rebbi that night, and explained my dilemma. He answered me very simply. He said , "What is a band? It makes noise which they call music. Some make more noise than others. For a few hours of more noise, you're going to run the risk of starting off your relationship with your new father-in-law on the wrong foot?!"
What he told me was so obvious that I wondered why I didn't think of it myself? The answer is what we said before when you're biased you are blind and you can't think straight.
Let us learn this lesson and daven to Hashem, especially in "Ato Chonen L'odom Daas" and in the brocho of "Hashiva Shofteinu. . Vayotzeinu. . " to give the brains and true advisors to help us make the right decisions in life in the true spirit of the Torah.
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Parshat Shavua (Mishpatim) |
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